Amy Winehouse

 

They asked her to put the weight back on and she said NO, NO, NO!!! Times like this call for drastic measures people. So, we here at Hit Da Wall are willing to help by starting a food drive.  Any canned fruit or vegetables you have laying around should be sent to her ASAP. Apparently she has forgotten what a supermarket is.  You can also send her gift certificates to McDonalds or Burger King.  Please look deep in your hearts to help a rich, famous singer in need.

(Images courtesy of http://www.arenamagazine.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/winehouse.jpg)

Jerry Lewis

Ummmm. . .what? I mean, what can I really say about this monstrosity. Mr. Lewis you once said, “Pity? You don’t want to be pitied because you’re a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay in your house!” Ok, ok, so your not a cripple in a wheelchair, but you are sooooo f-ing fat that you should be ashamed of yourself. Do you even have eyes? I mean, for you to see you probably have to hold down your cheek fat. Jerry, seriously, how many people did you swallow?  3? 5? Listen here Jerry, take your own advice and stay in your house because you are truly a pitiful person. . .and a fat person. . .and a double-chin person. . .and an enormously fat person. . .did I say that you are an extraordinarily fat human being . . .STAY IN YOUR HOUSE and never come out until you drop 100 lbs.

(images courtesy of

http://www.thegoldenyears.org/jerry_lewis.jpg &

 

http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/2452370.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF1934A2752006EF5F0ED9F3CD44DA4201B8B5A5397277B4DC33)

 

Farrah Fawcett

This is absolutely amazing.  We are calling for a full-scale investigation to find out if Farrah is still alive.  She may, in fact, be the first living dead ever discovered.  While this may help resurrect her career as the head zombie in “Night of the Living Dead #37 – Farrah’s Revenge,” it makes me dry heave.  You were one of the sexiest women alive… you were one of Charlie’s angel.  But now, father-time has reduced you to a mass of dead tissue.  So the next time you go out looking to feast on the human flesh of the living, maybe spare yourself the embarrasment and order some chinese!!! 

Images courtesy of (http://ogonbat.brinkster.net/arkiv_farrah-poster.jpg & http://media.canada.com/1785a528-bef3-4f04-af39-9312146bfd98/farrah.jpg)

We have a winner…

Wow…another vote, another blowout. Clearly you guys were impressed by the mess we all know as Kelly Osbourne because the vote was not even close. After taking 90 % of the votes, she was chosen as this weeks winner. We definitely salute Ms Osbourne because all of that money and fame could make her appealing.  

Images courtesy of (http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1382/953141227_506566e285_o.jpg, http://wiw.org/~jess/wp-uploads/scarykelly.jpg, & http://teens.aol.com/style/20-ugliest-celebrities?photo=10)

Morph Monday

Who are these people?!?

(Image courtesy of http://www.morphthing.com/ )

Voting time

This week, the contest is a little different, but you guys still make the decision. We know it will be tough to choose just one, but we want to know who you guys think was born into da wall. Look through this weeks post, and then click on the vote tab. You can vote as many times as you want until Sunday night…

and the morph is . . .

Julia Roberts and Emma Watson!

Jay-Z

Its the Hova, Jigga Man, Jay Heezy, Iceberg Slim

but the truth is your real name should be Just Ugly As Sin!!

You resemble an alien from a planet beyond ours,

Perhaps you real home was the streets of Mars.

So thank your sweet blessings that you got rich

cause without your money, you just be straight hideous!!!!

 Images courtesy of (http://img.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/060919/133857__jay-z_l.jpg & http://www.celebheights.com/starimages/glenn-jayz.jpg)

Kelly Osbourne

Well hello Fatty McFatterson.  I have to say, you turned out to be as big a mess as your daddy.  I don’t want to be rude, but it looks like your having a chin party and invited all the chins in the neighborhood for a sleepover.  The next time you open your fat mouth, try to make sure your making a mockery of someone elses hit song instead of eating your way into the obese celebrity club.  Besides word on the street is the public is calling for a remake of Weird Al Yankovich’s “I’m Fat.”  YOU WOULD BE PERFECT!!!!! 

Images courtesy of (http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1382/953141227_506566e285_o.jpg, http://wiw.org/~jess/wp-uploads/scarykelly.jpg, & http://teens.aol.com/style/20-ugliest-celebrities?photo=10)

Joanie Laurer a.k.a. Chyna

This week we are gonna spice it up a bit.  Instead of the normal celebs who were once good looking and have now hit da wall, this week we will be featuring 3 celebs who were born into da wall.  These people had the unfortunate fate of slamming into the wall right after they exited the womb.  So, with that being said, our first contestant is Chyna.

Can you believe men are actually attracted to her? Its a fact… lets not forget the famous porn video, “One Night in Chyna.”  I still have some throw-up stuck in my teeth from when I saw that.  What could her parents possibly have done that Zeus would punish their child with that kind of face?  If anyone knows her, please ask her to contact us because we would like to make her our spokeswoman.  She managed to go from a man-beast to a killer clown from outer-space.  Ms. Laurer, our hearts go out to thee. By the way, loosie’s, just went up to 65 cents.

Images Courtesy of (http://www.djsoundforce.com/images/HHH_Alfredo_Chyna.jpg & http://www.celebrities-suck.com/photos/11b8du.jpg)

Morph Monday

Take your guesses on who these two celebs are.

(Image courtesy of http://www.morphthing.com/ )

And the winner is…

Holy sh*t man! It turned out to be quite a battle between the Presley family this week. The voting was extremely close throughout, but in the end, the King’s demise into a fat face was just too much for his daughter. Although we had only one winner, we congratulate the entire Presley clan for doing their best to look their worst.

(images courtesy of http://www.stinalisa.com/ElvisPresley1.jp & http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2006/10/12/Elvis_061012125929541_wideweb__300×375.jpg)

Potential Tie

We have a potential tie between two of this week’s contestants with only a few hours of voting left.  So don’t be shy and keep the voting going!!!

and the Morph Monday is . . .

Jake Gyllenhaal and Edward Norton!

P.S. Don’t forget to vote for this week’s winner by clicking the “vote” link at the top of the page.  It’s a close one so every vote counts.

Chupacabra’s Survival Tip

#91

Always be on time for Thanksgiving dinner.  Anyone who has the nerve to be late, FOR ANY REASON, should not be allowed to engage in the feast.  The only acceptable excuse is death… or pink eye.  I suggest if you are kept waiting by one of these selfish relatives you lock the door, commence the Turkey Day feast, and leave a handful of Thanksgiving delectables on the front porch so they know what they are missing.  And may Zeus protect you if you’re late at the Chupacabra’s table.  So remember babies… be on time and enjoy your grub.  HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

P.S. Don’t forget to vote for this week’s winner by clicking the “vote” link at the top of the page.  It’s a close one so every vote counts.

Polls are open

The time has come for you all to decide among the Presley family members. We know its tough to choose just one, but a decision needs to be made by you guys. Run back through this weeks post, and then click on the vote tab. You can vote as many times as you want until Sunday night.

Elvis Presley

And now its good old poppa’s turn . . . The “King of Rock ‘n’ Roll,” or simply known as the “King,” had it all at the height of his career. But, as the years went on, his looks slowly diminished and his “gyrations” just became, well, blah. I mean when someone with a double chin is shoving their pelvis at you its just not an attractive sight. A journalist recalled: “Elvis Presley had become a grotesque caricature of his sleek, energetic former self… he was barely able to pull himself through his abbreviated concerts.” Well Mr Journalist, I could not put it any better. Even in your grave Mr. Presley, your still able to hit da wall.

(images courtesy of

http://www.stinalisa.com/ElvisPresley1.jp &

 

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2006/10/12/Elvis_061012125929541_wideweb__300×375.jpg)

 

Priscilla Presley

Yesterday was Baby Bear’s roasting…now its time for Momma Bear. Good lord Priscilla! You were a hunka burnin love, and had all the men shook up. Now you are on track to becoming the next cat woman, and making all the men throw up. I have to be honest, its sort of like a traffic accident; I just can’t stop looking. Embrace your age! There is nothing wrong with a little turkey neck. It has to be better than the plastic face you are sporting now. If the King could only see you now.

(Images courtesy of http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/MMPH/259588~Priscilla-Presley-Posters.jpg & http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2006/02/28/priscilla_wideweb__470×386,0.jpg) 

Lisa Marie Presley

This week we are having a family week. First up is Lisa Marie Presley. Lets start with what she calls her “singing”. You would think being the daughter of the King that she would have some sort of musical talent. But its been confirmed…and the answer is a big hell to the no. It also looks like she is following in he fathers footsteps, because she is looking a little plump. Listen, we all need a little meat in our diet. I like to mix in a chubby chick every now and then. And honestly, I would still hit that. But at least make an effort. Here is a little piece of advice from the team. Next time you are out to eat, go for the salad bar. It will do you some good.

(Images courtesy of http://images.askmen.com/imagesmusician/2003_may/lisa_marie_presley/lisa_marie_presley_150.jpg & http://blog.choc.fr/images/actualites/aout2007/16-08-07/lisa-marie-choc.jpg )

Morph Monday

Who are these two celebrities?

(Image courtesy of http://www.morphthing.com/ )