Monthly Archives: October 2007

Katie Couric


What, what, what!?!  Are you missing your upper lip?  Are you even the same person?  Well Mrs. Couric I think we finally know why your legs are one of the most widely identified aspects of your on screen persona. . .because your face is hideous!!! I mean, CBS has got to hire some of the best make-up artists in the world to make you even look slightly appealing. You remind me of some kind of evil bunny.  Look at those gums! I bet your looking at a gigantic carrot right now aren’t you? Listen Couric, you need to do something about yourself because I may never watch CBS anymore in fear that I might see that evil bunny face of your again.  Kudos to you Couric. Kudos to you.

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Clint Eastwood


Well hello Skeletor… uh, I mean Mr. Eastwood.  Clint Eastwood used to be a symbol for toughness and masculinity, but I guess time was tougher than Dirty Harry.  I really did not want it to come to this for Clint, but it cannot be ignored anymore.  Your beginning to resemble death itself.  But at least your shying away from acting now and focusing on directing.  Maybe your starting to get it that your not a sexy symbol anymore, your just a bony mess.  So please for the children’s sake, no more pictures or films, and let us remember the Clint Eastwood that asked the question “Do you feel lucky punk, well do ya,” and not the fleshy skeleton you’ve become.

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Nick Nolte


Nick, Nick, Nick… you have truly become a mess. I have had some rough nights in my day, but god damn homey. Take a break from the partying and relax. Stress free is the key. I am sure you probably got some nice tail in your younger days, running around Hollywood with Eddie Murphy. But those days have come and gone my friend. Accept your fate, and prepare to meet your destiny with da wall.

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Morph Monday


Who are these two celebrities?!?  Take your guesses.

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Scorpio (10/23 – 11/21) : With Halloween near, its time to trick or treat, or to sit back and beat your meat.  It also seems to be the best time to make some serious moves Scorpio.  So begin by telling your friends, family, and lovers to go f*ck themselves. Let them know that you regret ever being born and you are tired of being held back by them. Make certain that they understand you will never forgive them and walk out the door for good.  Life is too long, so take a chance.  Thursday’s probably are not your luckiest days and your lucky numbers should be 3, 45, 9, 1, 15, 36.

Not even close


In what turned out to be the most lopsided vote yet, Kathleen Turner ran away with the win this week. Her ugly mug was just too much for the competition to overcome, and it was clear from the moment voting began, that it was her contest to lose . So thanks Kathleen Turner. Thank you for searching out the wall and slamming your face into it…repeatedly.

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Closing time

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