Monthly Archives: June 2008

Mary Tyler Moore

Where is Rhoda when you need her?  Mary you look a mess and that smile is awful.  Those chompers are something special.  Can u please wrangle those things back into your mouth because your upsetting me.  Then again, you may be able to get some work out of it.  Since Heath passed, I think we  may found the next joker.  And BTW… I’m really surprised you still are showing some cleavage.  New rule… no low cut shirts if you were born before 1955.  I guess we all should be thankful that second pic got cut off.  Don’t worry your gonna make it after all..  In the Wall.

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Stallone’s Face Seals the Deal

I think we all knew who was going to win this week.  It was just a formality.  I’m not taking anything away from the other 2 nominees but c’mon.  I don’t know what Jackie Stallone did, but apparently she went way to far trying to get the part of Two-Face in the new Batman movie.  She is certainly, one of the worst cases of hitting da wall these little eyes have seen.  So congratulations Jackie… and remember, THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!!

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Rock the Vote!!

Its Thursday and we all know what that means… time to curl up with your favorite Nancy Drew book and listen to a little Streisand!! Fab-bu-LUS!!! Wait… um… What the hell just happened?? I must have blacked out for a moment. Anyway, its time to vote your little tushies off. Just click the “vote” link at the top of the page to cast your ballot.

This week is an all estrogen week with 3 lovely, (well not anymore of course), ladies vying for a chance to be this weeks most hideous honey. In one corner, from Hollywood California, Elizabeth “The Mummy” Taylor. In the second corner, from parts unknown, Jackie “My Face is Melting” Stallone. And in our third corner, formerly from Dallas, Texas, Linda “Hatchet-face” Evans.

Lets Get Ready to Hummmmmble!!!!!!!!!!

Elizabeth Taylor

I already know what you people are going say about this post, and to be honest, I don’t care. I don’t care if she is as old as dirt, or if she is sick(ok, that’s a lie). I’m angry and I want answers! I want to know WTF happened to the woman on the left. Maybe some of the fugliness of her BFF Michael Jackson has rubbed off on her, or maybe she drank too much of his Jesus Juice with her pain meds.  But f*ck man!  She’s slammed into the wall and embraced the sh*t out of it. It’s almost like her and the wall are making sweet love together.

And what’s with the jet black hair and bright red lipstick? Act your age! If you’re old, let the gray hair out and stop wearing makeup. It doesn’t make you look any younger. You just look like an old woman trying to be young. You’re not fooling anyone!

Ok…I’m done being a dick for the day.

(images via &

Jackie Stallone

Does someone want to tell me what the hell this is?!!!! Now for those of you who don’t know this thing used to be our latest Wall Of Shamer Sylvester Stallone’s mom. Now she is not exactly an A-list celeb.  In all honesty she’s probably on the level of the W-list… but she is a celebrity none-the-less.  And this is by far one of the worst cases that I have ever seen. This woman should come with a warning or disclaimer or something.  I mean… I’ve vomited 3 times since I started typing. As a matter of fact, I’m done writing… if you need me I’m going to church to pray.

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Linda Evans

   Another beauty bites the dust.  Linda Evans was one of the hottest women on T.V. in the eighties.  She was also on one of the biggest shows… Dynasty.  Now people probably don’t even recognize her.  This is a dam shame.  Now the question is, plastic surgery or old age?  Lets hope plastic surgery.  I would like to think God is a little nicer than that.

Peace out George Carlin.  You were a genious!!

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And Kristie Alley Takes the Cake…. literally!!!

With your endlessly entertaining yo-yo diets you ate you way right into da wall and into our hearts. In a landslide, this gelatinous blob is this weeks winner, but we have to give her props… she weighs a deuce and a half and she is still trying to wear heals. Good for you. What are those things made of anyway… titanium? Either way darling, lets all Cheers (now that’s creative) to the mess that you are!!!!