Billy Mays

I’m taking a break from celeb bashing to remember someone I think was a genuine good guy.  Billy Mays reminded me of a blue collar guy who worked hard and and got to the top of his profession.  He’s not artificial like Michael Jackson or so many other celebs.  And yet between M.J. and Farrah there really has not been much ink about  Billy.  So let me just say I think  that Billy Mays was the genuine article and and tribute to what hard work can really do for someone.

Rest in peace

Image courtesy of:

http://www.dirtragmag.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=20588&stc=1&d=1200750860

Michael Jackson Revisited

SO this post isn’t to really ridicule Michael Jackson, just to clear some things up.  There seems to be this public outcry for support and all these people saying how much they loved Michael Jackson.  Where we these people when he was being pounded by accusations of child molestation and whatever else has been said about him over recent years?  The bottom line is Michael Jackson was not a hero, or someone to be looked up to.  He was someone who was alarmingly tucked away in his own world and clearly had some issues.  Just look at what he did to himself physically.  Forget the “so called” skin disease… he butchered his face!!!  And I’m sure we will come to find out that prescription drugs played a hand in his death.  This is what happens when someones disturbing abnormalities are enabled by his friends, family, and all those others around him.

(Images courtesy of http://www2c.airnet.ne.jp/stevie/MICHAEL%20JACKSON/OFF%20THE%20WALL.jpg & http://www.vintagepostcards.org/blog/michael-jackson-mugshot.jpg)

Lisa Rinna

Here we go again.  Another case of a one time gorgeous celebrity going to far with the fakeness.  Now I know some of you will say that Lisa Rinna looks good and blah blah blah!!  Take a closer look and you’ll see that this is becoming a freak show.  And what is with those lips!!!  I believe NASA is testing them to see if their is intelligent life on them.  Bottom line…. celebrities just don’t know when to stop.  Instead of Lisa Rinna gracefully bowing out of show business, she chose to turn herself into a fun house clown right before our very eyes.

Another hottie bites the dust!!

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Liar, Liar, Pants on Favre!!!

When does this end?  You’ve played almost 20 years Brett… just let it be.  Poor Aaron Rogers has been salivating on the bench for some sweet, sweet playing time, and just when he thinks he’s gonna get some love… you pull this junk.  Its bush-league!!!  Stick with wrangler or levi, or whatever other endorsements you have and learn to step away.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Image Courtesy of :

Who cares for Sunday when we got a CAT FIGHT!

Did you hear?!?  Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban had a baby girl, but thats not even the best part. . .wait, wait. . . they named her. . .wait, wait. . .SUNDAY!!!  Isn’t that fabulous!  Who da. . Who da. . .Excuse me, let me clear my throat. . .WHO THE F-CARES!!!

Let’s get to the real news. . .

It’s about to be a GIRL FIGHT!  In one corner we have Jesscia Simpson, wearing the big breast and blonde hair, and in the other corner we have Pam Anderson, also wearing the big breast and blonde hair.  Ding, Ding.  Pam took the first punch and boy did it hurt Jesscia.  In response to Jessica’s shirt, “Real Girls Eat Meat”, which is a stab at Tony Romo’s ex, Carrie Underwood, Pam called Jesscia a “Bitch and a whore” all in one sentence for her shananingens.  In boxing terms that a jab to the nose and a right hook. 

Round 1 goes to Pam, with 3 judges scoring it 10-7.  Jesscia better ice-up and vaseline that pretty little face of hers to battle the “Baywatch Babe”.  Hopefully we shall see Round 2 very shortly.

Images courtesy of http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20203442,00.html, http://blogs.mysanantonio.com/weblogs/potato/flying-cat-fight.jpg

 

McConaughey Has A Baby!!!

We have it first ladies and gents. Hot of the presses are the first photos of Mathew McConaughey’s new baby boy (Well not really… but we can dream can’t we?). I think he takes after his daddy!!! I mean, I don’t think I have ever seen Mathew with his shirt on, and it looks like the baby is following in his daddy’s footsteps. Maybe one day, just one day, I can flip through a people magazine and not see pictures of McConaughey doing push-ups or half naked. Anyway… I wish you no luck or congratulations… jerk!!!

Images courtesy of

Jeff Conaway

What we have here is a mess. This poor guy had to play second fiddle to John Travolta and if that’s not bad enough he had to take a back seat to Tony Danza in Taxi. That must have really put him over the edge. All we can hope for is another reality show with the star of all reality shows, Jeff Conaway. When it comes to reality T.V. Jeff, you take a back seat to no one.

Images from :http://www.autographdealer.com & news.aol.com

Madonna & A-Rod???

Word through the grapevine is Madonna and Alex Rodriguez the latest Hollywood fling.  Which I think is a pretty good match.  Let’s examine this shall we:

 

 Alex Rodriguez                                  Madonna

1. At the top of his sport                       1. Has been on top of every guy in Hollywood

2. Likely home run king.       2. More guys have scored on her thany anyone else

3. In the prime of his career               3. Has been awful since the late 90’s.

4. Has 2 children.                                   4. Eat children to stay young.

5. Is Puerto Rican                                  5. Is … uh… English or…. WHAT IS SHE???

6. In his 30’s and frosts his hair.         6. Seriously… why does A-Rod do that??

 

So as we can see it’s a match made in heaven.  A guy getting out of a marriage looking for some quick loving; and a lady looking to stay relevant and get some publicity.  I bet she will be releasing an album pretty soon.

 Images Courtesy of

http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2007/writers/tom_verducci/10/09/arod.postseason/t1_1008_arod2_getty.jpg

http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/famecrawler/2008/04/23-End%20of%20Month/madonna300.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What’s Happening???

The other day I had the opportunity to see M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Happening.”  I was pretty excited about it because with the exception of that awful movie “The Village,” I pretty much like all his movies. 

So the movie begins and Mark Walberg starts talking and I think, is this for real?  Did he forget to take his acting juice?  But then I realize its not a joke and Marky Mark is really trying.  Then it starts to spread, and everyone in the movie, with the exception of the little girl (whose name I don’t know), was TERRIBLE!!!  I’ve seen better acting in porn movies.  So if you can get past the acting the movie is good…………………………

NOT!!!!  No lie people, the Worst all around movie I have ever seen.  As a matter of fact, I want you to see it so you can understand what I’m saying.  I literally wanted go sniff some paint thinner, drink it, and light myself on fire while I watch a lifetime movie.  Cause that would have been better than that piece of cocky. 

And if anyone comments that they liked it, check yourself into a hospital and steralize yourself.  I have no time for your buffoonery or your potential offspring!!!

Anyway, I give this movie a rating of – Toxic Waste – because watching it may kill you!!!

Donatella Versace

Ok Donatella, I must admit you were never really attractive, but at least you looked like a normal human being and on top of it all you were rich b/c of your brother Gianni.  And we all known rich + ugly = beautiful/getting laid.  Ok, so with all your money and guys flocking around you, what do you do. . .

You make yourself look like Mr. Ed/the Easter Bunny.  Can someone get this women a carrot!!!  Ooooooo wait a tick, she’s not done yet.  And neither am I. . .

Holy cheese and crackers!!!  Is her skin melting?  I don’t know what to say Donatella, but if there was a sangwich (this is not a typo) named after you it would be called, the “Versace melt”, with of course a side of steamed/raw carrots.  Bon appetit.

Images from http://www.palmbeachpost.com/shared-blogs/palmbeach/pumpkin/donatella-versace-plastic-s.jpg, http://www.adelineandhazel.com/2007/08/04/donatella-versace-too-much-plastic-surgery/, http://www.chicagotribune.com/media/photo/2007-12/34439098.jpg

Courtney Love

Ok, so here we have the rare case of someone being born into da wall, then becoming a hotty, and finally smashing there face right back into da wall courtesy of good ole plastic surgery. Its no secret that Courtney Love is a lunatic, but what is she doing?? She almost looks like Beast from the old Beauty and the Beast tv show. (I know thats an obscure reference but you just have to deal with it). Anyway, you do whatever makes you happy. If you want to look like some sort of cat/human, we are all for it.

I guess thats what happens when you ride the coat tails of your talented husband, and then he dies, and people realize you never had talent!!!! WOW, did I just say that???

Images Courtesy of

Mary Tyler Moore

Where is Rhoda when you need her?  Mary you look a mess and that smile is awful.  Those chompers are something special.  Can u please wrangle those things back into your mouth because your upsetting me.  Then again, you may be able to get some work out of it.  Since Heath passed, I think we  may found the next joker.  And BTW… I’m really surprised you still are showing some cleavage.  New rule… no low cut shirts if you were born before 1955.  I guess we all should be thankful that second pic got cut off.  Don’t worry your gonna make it after all..  In the Wall.

Images courtesy of : lobsterlid.com / marytylermoor.50megs.com

 

Stallone’s Face Seals the Deal

I think we all knew who was going to win this week.  It was just a formality.  I’m not taking anything away from the other 2 nominees but c’mon.  I don’t know what Jackie Stallone did, but apparently she went way to far trying to get the part of Two-Face in the new Batman movie.  She is certainly, one of the worst cases of hitting da wall these little eyes have seen.  So congratulations Jackie… and remember, THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!!

Images courtesy of (http://www.hifire.co.uk/wp-content/articles/surgery3.jpg)

Rock the Vote!!

Its Thursday and we all know what that means… time to curl up with your favorite Nancy Drew book and listen to a little Streisand!! Fab-bu-LUS!!! Wait… um… What the hell just happened?? I must have blacked out for a moment. Anyway, its time to vote your little tushies off. Just click the “vote” link at the top of the page to cast your ballot.

This week is an all estrogen week with 3 lovely, (well not anymore of course), ladies vying for a chance to be this weeks most hideous honey. In one corner, from Hollywood California, Elizabeth “The Mummy” Taylor. In the second corner, from parts unknown, Jackie “My Face is Melting” Stallone. And in our third corner, formerly from Dallas, Texas, Linda “Hatchet-face” Evans.

Lets Get Ready to Hummmmmble!!!!!!!!!!

Elizabeth Taylor

I already know what you people are going say about this post, and to be honest, I don’t care. I don’t care if she is as old as dirt, or if she is sick(ok, that’s a lie). I’m angry and I want answers! I want to know WTF happened to the woman on the left. Maybe some of the fugliness of her BFF Michael Jackson has rubbed off on her, or maybe she drank too much of his Jesus Juice with her pain meds.  But f*ck man!  She’s slammed into the wall and embraced the sh*t out of it. It’s almost like her and the wall are making sweet love together.

And what’s with the jet black hair and bright red lipstick? Act your age! If you’re old, let the gray hair out and stop wearing makeup. It doesn’t make you look any younger. You just look like an old woman trying to be young. You’re not fooling anyone!

Ok…I’m done being a dick for the day.

(images via http://studioscreenings.com/galleries/FrankWorth/Liz_Taylor_01.jpg & www.jamd.com/image/g/77841319)

Jackie Stallone

Does someone want to tell me what the hell this is?!!!! Now for those of you who don’t know this thing used to be our latest Wall Of Shamer Sylvester Stallone’s mom. Now she is not exactly an A-list celeb.  In all honesty she’s probably on the level of the W-list… but she is a celebrity none-the-less.  And this is by far one of the worst cases that I have ever seen. This woman should come with a warning or disclaimer or something.  I mean… I’ve vomited 3 times since I started typing. As a matter of fact, I’m done writing… if you need me I’m going to church to pray.

Images courtesy of:

(http://www.hifire.co.uk/wp-content/articles/surgery3.jpg)

Linda Evans

   Another beauty bites the dust.  Linda Evans was one of the hottest women on T.V. in the eighties.  She was also on one of the biggest shows… Dynasty.  Now people probably don’t even recognize her.  This is a dam shame.  Now the question is, plastic surgery or old age?  Lets hope plastic surgery.  I would like to think God is a little nicer than that.

Peace out George Carlin.  You were a genious!!

Images courtesy of :  www.s9.com/images/portraits/9283_Evans-Linda.jpg :  cache.viewimages.com/xc/2860475.jpg?v=1&c=Vie…

And Kristie Alley Takes the Cake…. literally!!!

With your endlessly entertaining yo-yo diets you ate you way right into da wall and into our hearts. In a landslide, this gelatinous blob is this weeks winner, but we have to give her props… she weighs a deuce and a half and she is still trying to wear heals. Good for you. What are those things made of anyway… titanium? Either way darling, lets all Cheers (now that’s creative) to the mess that you are!!!!

Get Your Voting Shoes On…

Time to put on your Sunday’s best cause its voting time.  Our 3 shamful contestants this week are William Shatner, Kirstie Alley, and Steven Tyler.  In the end, there can be only one!!!  Click on the “vote” link above to place your vote.  Autobots…. Roll OUT!!!!